Source: candyflossfalloutBossssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
It’s unfortunate, but I still want her. I can act like she’s not on my mind, I can pretend that it’s in the past but every second my mind isn’t preoccupied she is there to fill the spaces between when I can’t think and I try not to think about her. I don’t know this feeling. I burn bridges, I don’t fight to keep them up but I still want that hope, that distant, faint, flash of light to still be there that maybe it will begin a new. One day I can go back to the start and hold on longer than just a fleeting moment. It’s such a strange feeling for your heart to ache for things yet unseen but it is becoming an overwhelming feeling for me. I don’t like where my mind is and I don’t like these thoughts. Even though I have my resolution I needed to complete the passage I’m still trying to make the pieces if the puzzle fit but like any good cliche I’m putting a square peg Ina round hole. I’ve came up with wild conspiracy scenarios as to why and I’ve thought that maybe I’m just terrible at what I try my hardest at. I lay here is bed with this dull ache in my chest, I’m in a perpetual lull with those words haunting me every day. I just wish to go back to the start, I just wish to see those beautiful eyes peak out towards me once more. I feel so odd, I feel so lost. I’m trying to move but I’m going in circles, when I feel like I’ve made progress I see my prints in the sand, look up and find myself back where I was dropped off. This isn’t me, I know it will get better. I don’t know… I just still want her.